The last people some might want by their side at a neighborhood bar are those responsible for initiating the Iran war and ending abortion. This is the setup for SNL’s latest Cold Open, where Colin Jost’s Pete Hegseth grumbles at a bar, upset that nobody left in the Trump Administration can match his drinking. That is, until Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, portrayed by the host Matt Damon, stumbles in.
Throughout the sketch, they bond over their achievements—or misdeeds, depending on one’s viewpoint—while in office. Hegseth bemoans the potential end of the Iran conflict, feeling it leaves him purposeless, while Kavanaugh tears up over the “male loneliness epidemic.” It’s a tough night for these influential figures.
The situation escalates when Aziz Ansari appears as FBI Director Kash Patel, shifting the mood from sad-drunk to dangerously-drunk. Soon, the trio is toying with the idea of a Trump third term.